Getting Through the Holidays

What a month of celebrations November has been: I had my 28th birthday, one of my best friends got married, and Thanksgiving. Oh, and Black Friday. We bought a new fridge and stove/range during the sale, which will be delivered tomorrow. Yay, we’re finally going to have a kitchen! That’s definitely worth celebrating.

It always feels crazy how so many major holidays are packed into the months of November to January. Everything is one right after the other. In about two weeks, Will and I are traveling back to Philadelphia for Christmas and New Year’s.

I’ve never liked the holiday season that much. I know it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year but I don’t like the shopping frenzy, the pressure to get gifts for people I don’t know that well, and the music. Ugh, the music! I really don’t like Christmas music. And this year, it feels even more of a drag. It’s not that I don’t want to be thankful, but there’s this excessive message telling me to feel grateful right now. More specifically, it feels like people are telling me to not think of my shitty situation, and to be grateful¬†despite it. In other words, “This is a time to be happy. Ignore the bad stuff for now.”

But I’m not ignoring “the bad stuff” because “the bad stuff” is just part of my life. And I don’t know how to bridge the gap between celebrating with the rest of the world and not faking my way through the holidays. Obviously, I don’t want to be a downer. Really, I just want to crawl into bed and hibernate until Spring.

I am thankful, though, for a lot of things. I got two new clients recently, and I had a new idea for my freelancing that I’m currently testing. I’m thankful that my dog is (slowly) learning how to pee and poo outside. I started therapy, which has been pretty good. Will and I got to spend time with my family during Thanksgiving, and Will is about to finish his semester. Our house is coming together. We also found a small group that we like. So yeah, there’s a lot to be thankful for.

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  • Amy
    28 November 2018 at 11:01 am

    Justine, when my sister passed away the holidays were the shittiest times I have ever, ever experienced. I remember sleeping in on Thanksgiving until 4PM and getting dinner and going back to bed. It is ok to just let it be shitty, and let is suck. You don’t have to feel pressure to be thankful or happy. Let yourself feel those emotions. It is so hard but it is important to. Love you