awaken

Bah, I can’t believe January is basically over. How is everyone doing with their resolutions? 🙂

Did you know the second Friday of the year is known as “Quitter’s Day?” Apparently, that’s the day most people start quitting their resolutions. 12 days! I sort of understand – when people make resolutions, they also have these grand images of themselves being a better person. A different person. The problem is, change is a process, and progress can be slow. You don’t just suddenly become fit or successful. The imagination of motivation can only get you so far.

After I posted my resolutions a couple weeks ago, I got discouraged pretty quickly. Actually, I’ve been discouraged every week, haha. Mainly because of my thesis. I have 9 weeks to do this thing; I’m already in week 4, and way behind. It sucks to feel like you’re behind. And having a deadline for presentations? It is very anxiety-inducing.

I’ve also felt discouraged about other things, like how I’ve been spending a lot of money this month, even though one of my big goals is to spend a lot less. Granted, 97% of the purchases were necessary and it also includes the amount Will and I spent on our road trip. In my mind, I *know* I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I still do. (Also, how crazy is it that Will and I have only been in Philly for less than a month? Feels like a lifetime already!)

Anyway, there have been many times this month that I felt like a failure, or like I was starting the year off on a bad note.

I know why people give up on their resolutions so easily: we are so discouraged by not living up to the expectations we have for ourselves. We’ve pictured the montage of ourselves working hard and changing into this wonderful and better person, only to be disappointed by the reality. We are still the same as we were, and we aren’t seeing results. We give up because we feel we are unable to be the person we thought we could be, and it’s easier to go back to old habits rather than stick to new ones that may not necessarily produce the results we are looking for.

What to do when you’re feeling discouraged

• Acknowledge your successes and give yourself a pat on the back
• Evaluate why your goals are your goals – are you doing it for yourself, for your family?
• Pinpoint the true hurdles that are keeping you from accomplishing your goals
• Switch up your routine, add a habit, or do something different that will help you overcome your hurdles

The practical side of me knows what I need to do to change my perspective. Resolutions and goals are about becoming a better person, NOT about being the best right away. Making a resolution does not mean we all of a sudden become a different person. I had/have to learn to stop beating myself up for not living up to the “new me.”

I also realized that, as the first month of the year, January isn’t necessarily about “new year, new me”. Instead, it’s a time of self-evaluation and self-encouragement. It’s good to use the new year to decide what areas of one’s life needs to be changed and improved, but the time can also further be spent self-evaluating the mental (or physical) hurdles that are in the way. It’s about taking the time to pinpoint those problem areas and learn how to move forward and tackle them.

Like I said, the practical side of me knows that. The practicing side of me, however, is slowly learning and still applying. But it’s ok – slow learning is better than no learning at all.

If you’re not achieving your goals in full swing, I want to encourage you to acknowledge what you HAVE done. Maybe you didn’t do it perfectly, or maybe there’s still a ton of stuff on the to-do list that you hoped would have been finished by now, but give yourself a pat on the back for making it this far. I’m not really saying you need to be happy with where you’re at, but don’t let your shortcomings overshadow your accomplishments. Value the work you HAVE done, and then move on to tackle the next.

If you’re thinking of giving up, whether it’s letting yourself skip a gym day or waiting another day to start any creative pursuits, my challenge to you is this: ask yourself if you really want to achieve those goals. If the answer is yes, then figure out what exactly is keeping you from reaching those goals. Is it because it’s hard? Uncomfortable? Are you just being lazy? Is working towards your goals more time-consuming than you thought? Whatever the root issue is, you can’t problem solve until you’ve determined exactly what it is. But the key is to try and stay positive. Easier said than done, yes, but so important. Because the more you feel down, the harder it will be to keep going.

Tomorrow is February, but all we’ve got is time. Don’t get caught up in who you were yesterday, but start being the person you want to be tomorrow. Keep it up, and don’t give up.

It is almost two weeks into the new year and so much has already happened – Will and I have settled into our temporary apartment and bought some winter clothes to match the weather. Will got into a certification program for IO psych and an HR internship (it seriously all happened so fast!) I started my first day back at school at the same time my hours for writing doubled. Wowzaaa!

I’ve never really been into New Year’s resolutions. Actually, I used to really hate resolutions, which started because when I used to go to the gym, January brought in all the resolutioners that crowded the equipment. Then I thought, “Well, people should be trying to improve themselves all year round, instead of just the beginning of the year.” I know, what a snooty and pretentious way of thinking.

It’s true, we should always be trying to improve. It’s important to set goals for ourselves when we need them, not just at the beginning of the year. But I have realized that having a new slate can be really helpful for people to refresh and reset. This year already feels so different from last year, which was only just eleven days ago. I had a really epic year last year, and I already have plans for this year that look nothing like 2017. So it’s kind of scary, but also a little bit exciting.

A few people I know have already posted their goals for this year, and one that I really enjoyed reading was James’ post, where he mentioned SMART goals. I love the idea of creating goals that are more specific and measurable, rather than relative, emotional, and easier to give up on. 2017 was full of accomplishments, including paying off my debt, finding a new job that paid well and allowed me more flexibility with my time, and signing back up for school. I was also able to travel a whole lot, which was awesome, and even though I don’t see myself traveling as much this year, I do want to continue on this “freedom” trajectory!

My 2018 Resolutions

Read 24 books: Not only did I just get a new library card this past week, but Will gave me his old Kindle, which means there is no excuse not to read more books! I also learned about myself that I hate reading computer and phone screens. It hurts my eyes. I used to read so much when I was younger – almost 100 books a year! I hope to change that and start reading more books again.

Read 6 Chinese books: In addition to reading books in English, I have a bunch of books in Chinese that I want to tackle. Even though I can speak Chinese, my reading skills are terrible and definitely something I want to improve.

Keep blogging: This has been kind of difficult with all the road-tripping and getting settled into the new place, but I hope to keep blogging about once a week, both here and BlenderBrain. I actually have a few plans of changing Tinispace around (again…) that I think will make it better fitted for what I’m envisioning.

Make 1 video a month: Blender Brain is a project Will and I have been working on for a few years, although we really started to think more about it towards the second half of last year. We made a couple of videos that have been semi-successful and popular. And even though we don’t post new videos, we keep getting new subscribers to our channel! My mother-in-law’s library actually has a really cool video studio set-up, too! This means there is no excuse for not creating more, and better, video content! It will also be a great skill to hone.

Write 120,000 words: This is 10,000 words a month. I don’t know if I really need 120,000 words, to be honest. Basically, I’m in the middle of writing a book. I hope to have it finished by the end of the year!

Work out 3x a week / be a size 6: Will and I got gym memberships! When I was working out before our wedding, I noticed a lot of positive changes in my breathing and stamina. I want to make sure I’m doing some type of physical activity at least 3 times a week. Eating wise, I do pretty well; I eat lots of veg and don’t snack that much. So it’s important to me to start adding exercise into my routine for ~top notch~ health. Ideally, I want to measure my body fat and reduce my body fat percentage. I just don’t know how to do that right now. So the specifics “measurables” of this goal are subject to change.

Master the Instant Pot: So…I started using the Instant Pot I bought two years ago but never opened. Actually, I started using it last month when Will and I were in a hotel. I felt that we should eat more home-cooked meals instead of restaurants. My first attempt of making simple steamed broccoli turned out terrible. Seriously, a disaster. Second attempt? Also not great. But all the soups and stews have been delicious! My goal is to make 1 Instant Pot recipe a week, which I’ve already been doing so yay!

Spending freeze: I really want to be more conscious of the way I am spending. Before our road trip, I actually minimized my wardrobe to just one suitcase, which felt really amazing. This year, I hope not to spend any money on anything except food and necessities (shampoo, toothpaste, etc.) I am going to allow myself a budget of $150 for yarn, though. Because ya girl needs ta knit!