Will and I went in for our post-natal appointment on Thursday. We were hoping to find out what could have happened to baby Steven…I guess for some closure. I don’t really know. But everything came up normal and it will forever be a mystery. We asked about the umbilical cord, the placenta, the food I was eating, the exercise I did, and possible environmental reasons, but there was just no answer. They don’t know. We don’t know. Maybe God wants me to trust in this moment, but I think he’s being mean.
The doctor said the good news is that we should be able to continue having children. She said at least she didn’t have to tell me that we would never have children again. I guess that is good news. But Steven is always going to be my firstborn.